


Dinner Date

by sabinelagrande



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Ambush Date, First Date, M/M, Matchmaking, Meddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:17:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9575426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: Jarett has no idea how any of this happened.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pommenade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pommenade/gifts).



Jarett has led an interesting life. He started from not much and worked his way up, then proceeded to flee his home country when the authorities got wind of exactly how he worked his way up. He lived a good life in Emon, though it wasn't very exciting compared to what he left; things got very exciting when the dragons attacked, but not at all the kind of excited he wanted to be.

Now that the threat has passed, while they wait around for another one, Jarett is enjoying Whitestone. It's slow compared to Emon, but he feels like he can do good work here, perhaps better work than sitting on a parapet and watching for robbers.

Night is just beginning to fall, and Jarett is sitting in the courtyard of the barracks, rolling dice. He's teaching Kynan to play Avandra's Favor; if he's also teaching Kynan how to cheat at Avandra's Favor, that is his own business. The boy is smart but cagey, and little kindnesses and jokes seem to be getting through to him.

Whatever progress he's made evaporates when Vax'ildan and Vex'ahlia step into the courtyard. They both make a bee-line for Jarett and Kynan, and Kynan stands up, looking nervous. Jarett stands too, hoping these people have something for him other than almost getting killed.

"Kynan, Jarett," Vex says in greeting.

"It is good to see you," Jarett says. "I heard you were in Vasselheim."

"Briefly," Vex says, and she looks to Vax.

"Let's take a walk," Vax says, putting a hand on Kynan's shoulder and leading him away. "How's Simon?" Jarett hears him say before they walk out of earshot.

"Look, darling, I'll be quick," Vex says. "How do you feel about Gilmore?"

Jarett frowns. "I don't know him very well," he says. In the former stratification of Emon, Gilmore was definitely above Jarett, but Gilmore never made a single person uncomfortable that he thought he could sell something to. Here things are very different, but their paths only seem to cross when Vox Machina makes them.

"But you like him, right?" she asks. "Nice guy, great hair, entrepreneurial spirit."

"I don't dislike him," Jarett says. "What is this about?"

"We're trying to surprise him," Vex says. "Just something nice to show our appreciation for how hard he's worked."

"That would be very kind, I think," Jarett says, not pointing out that he too could use a nice surprise from these people.

"I'm so glad you think so," Vex says. "We just need a little help from you."

"I don't know how I can help, but I can try," Jarett says. 

"That's wonderful," Vex says.

"Are you going to tell me what you want me to do?" Jarett says.

Before she can say more, Vax returns, Kynan walking the other direction, probably to return to his bunk.

"Has he said yes yet?" Vax asks.

"Mostly," Vex says.

"Were you trying to be subtle again?" Vax says.

Vex ignores him. "Look, we're trying to do something nice for Gilmore, and we really need your help," she says. "Just come and have dinner with him."

And then Jarett realizes that he is the nice thing they are doing for Gilmore.

"I do not know if this is the best idea," Jarett says.

"Are you saying you don't like Shaun?" Vax says to Jarett, looking genuinely angry. "Shaun Gilmore is a masterpiece of men. You'd have to be an idiot not to see that."

"This is a strange situation I have wandered into," Jarett says, mostly to himself.

"If you're straight, that's one thing," Vex says, "but we know our own, and I don't think him being a man is the problem."

"It's not a problem," Jarett says. "I just think it might be better not to get involved with someone I have to work with here in Whitestone."

Vex actually laughs. "Darling, if you keep in that mindset, you'll have to go all the way to Westruun to get laid."

"Look, it's very simple," Vax says. "Just have dinner, have a drink, have a nice chat. You don't like it, you go home with no hard feelings."

"I-" Jarett starts. "I don't know."

Vex sighs. "I didn't want to have to do this."

"She didn't," Vax says.

"I really didn't," she says. She raises her hand to her earring. "Scanlan, could you come here, please?"

"Oh no," Jarett says, rubbing his forehead.

A few moments later, a familiar gnomish figure steps into the courtyard. He holds out his hands, and Jarett is reminded of a magician about to do a trick. "Give me a moment alone with our faithful friend Jarett, please." 

Vax and Vex give him the requested space, leaving Jarett and Scanlan alone. Jarett considers telling him right off to go fuck himself, but he's morbidly curious as to what Scanlan is going to say.

"I'm going to be brief," Scanlan says. "You might like Gilmore, you might not. That's not what's really important."

"I think it's very important," Jarett says, but Scanlan holds up a hand.

"If you do this for me," Scanlan says. He closes his hand into a fist, looking down and shaking his head. He sighs. "If you do this for me, I will never ask you to buy me drugs again."

"You're serious?" Jarett asks warily.

"Pelor help me, I am," Scanlan says. He looks sincere, though the appeal to Pelor was a little much, but Scanlan is nothing if not an amazing liar.

"I'll do it," Jarett says anyway, just in case. It would be a small price to pay. 

"Perfect," Scanlan says. "Put on your date clothes and let's get out of here."

"Wait, right now?" Jarett says. "I don't even-"

"Relax, you'll do great," Scanlan says. "Just find a clean shirt and call it good. He likes rough trade."

"I heard that," Vax calls.

Jarett doesn't have "date clothes", but he manages to find something halfway presentable. He looks at himself in the mirror and just shakes his head. He has no idea how this spiraled out of his control so quickly, but at this point he's along for the ride.

He considers Gilmore as he dresses. There aren't a lot of people from Marquet in Tal'Dorei, and Gilmore seems to be intent on not being from Marquet. Jarett understands, but doesn't know how much he approves; maybe that's just because his attempts to sound less Marquesian always failed. Objectively, Gilmore's not a bad-looking guy. Jarett never really gave him a second glance, but he wonders now if he should have, if Gilmore is something he overlooked rather than something he wasn't interested in.

He emerges from his room and is swept away by Vex, Vax, and Scanlan. They lead him farther into the city, to an area of houses that have been commandeered for various new arrivals.

"Just play it cool," Scanlan advises.

"Hot is better than cool," Vex says.

"Then play it hot," Scanlan says.

"I'll just play it safe," Jarett says.

"That's boring," Vax says. They stop in front one of the houses. "This is Shaun's. Have a good time."

"Knock 'em dead," Scanlan says. Vex says nothing, just gives him a wink. None of them move, and Jarett realizes that they're all waiting to make sure he goes inside.

This is all very ridiculous, but Jarett goes to the door anyway and knocks. Hopefully they have actually told Gilmore about this plan, and Jarett will not be surprising him with a random request for dinner.

The door opens, and the man of the hour answers. He's not wearing his usual robes, but neither is he wearing the ceremonial set he wore to fight Thordak. These probably constitute date clothes when you're a sorcerer; Jarett is not adept at telling these things. Either way, they suit him. Jarett doesn't know whether Gilmore wears a lot of purple because it's his favorite color or because it looks good on him, but either way, it's very flattering.

"Jarett," Gilmore says, in that big, warm way that he has. "How fantastic."

"Good evening," Jarett says. "I am told we're having dinner."

Gilmore laughs. "So am I. Please, come in."

Jarett steps inside, having a look around. The front room is mostly empty; the furniture is nice, but the walls are bare. It doesn't track with what he knows of Gilmore, but any way he could put that would come out as rude.

"I had some assassin trouble," Gilmore says, when he notices Jarett looking. "Believe me, this is not to my standard of decoration."

"I wasn't going to say anything," Jarett says.

"I don't do drab," Gilmore says, and Jarett thinks that is a massive understatement.

Gilmore leads him into the dining room, and Jarett stares for a moment.

"Scanlan did this," Jarett says.

"It's a little over-the-top," Gilmore says, which is a lot coming from him. It is, however, accurate. The room is hung with red tapestries, a rich burgundy brocade tablecloth on the table, offset with a white runner. There are many candles, and Jarett gets the suspicion that Gilmore strategically blew some of them out so that the tapestries wouldn't catch.

"Is it supposed to look Marquesian?" Jarett asks.

"I have no idea," Gilmore says. "I think it looks more like a house of ill repute."

"I am not going to say you're wrong," Jarett says. There is a bottle of wine and two plates waiting on the table, and Jarett catches a whiff of fusaka.

"I suggest we eat," Gilmore says. "I don't think cold food would add anything to this delightful experience."

On a whim, Jarett pulls back one of the chairs, holding out a hand. "After you."

"How gentlemanly," Gilmore says, only a little bit teasing, and Jarett goes and takes his own seat. He takes a sip of wine, which is delicious, and a bite of meat, which is passable. "So, how have you been occupying your time since our favorite adventurers didn't get us killed?"

"Other than thanking every god that I am not a piece of burnt toast?" Jarett says.

"Well, I'm sure that doesn't take up all your time," Gilmore says, smiling.

They eat and talk, idle chat about Whitestone, about what to do now that dragons are not their top priority. Gilmore has plans on plans, already picking out new places to establish shops and teleportation circles. Jarett's plans are not so developed, but it's nice to think about this new life, one without a constant threat hanging over his head.

"This has been quite the production," Gilmore says, pushing away his plate. "Though I can't say I didn't get a good meal out of it."

"It was a very sudden thing," Jarett says. "I'm still not sure how it happened."

"Well, I don't impose where I'm not wanted," Gilmore says, and he makes it sound lighthearted even though it isn't. "As fun as this is, I'm not going to make you stay if you don't want to."

And _then_ Jarett realizes that Gilmore is the nice thing they are doing for _him_. 

Those sneaky bastards.

Jarett thinks about it for a long moment, then picks up the wine and fills both their glasses. "Let's finish this bottle and see what happens, yes?"

Gilmore grins, and up close Jarett understands why so many people have given this man so much money. He really is, well, glorious, and Jarett thinks that he just might be swept away in it. "Well, how can I resist an offer like that?"

\--

"Do you think it's working?" Vex says.

"Of course it is," Vax says. "Why wouldn't it?"

"There are a lot of reasons," Percy says. "I think we made the right tactical decisions, but there are elements we can't control."

"I could scry on them," Keyleth says, sounding excited. 

"If we did this right and you scry on one of them, you're going to learn more than you _ever_ wanted to know," Scanlan says. "Maybe you're into that, but I think it's a little rude."

"I say we leave them to it and let Gilmore work his magic," Vex says. "Hopefully not his literal magic."

"You can do a lot of things with prestidigitation," Scanlan says with a grin.

"I don't want to know what they are," Percy says preemptively.

"You're no fun anymore," Scanlan says.

\--

And if Jarett has a certain spring in his step the next day, well, maybe Vox Machina gives nice surprises after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of my February 2017 charity fundraiser!


End file.
